Epicenter

At the epicenter
Of trust
Lies the maelstrom
Of hope

Propelling the Phoenix-like birth
Of love



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By Calliope Jones

Muse

It appears to be an inexorable aspect of who I am: the "romantic poet" continues on within me; and it continues on within me by virtue of the fact it is so deeply ingrained in my being.

Yes. It still is a form of passionately burning fire.

So...
...what...
...does...
...this...
...mean?

It's no longer the knight-errant-in-search-of-a-damsel-in-distress sort of thing.

There was never much to profit from in that way of being, metaphorically or literally. Pairing up one person's dysfunctional need to be needed with another person's dysfunctional need to be needy isn't as beneficial an arrangement as one might think.

All concerned just get worse, spiraling further downward into the abyss. Quite messy, indeed.

So...
...what...
...is...
...it...
...now?

I'm the (metaphorically) wandering-with-a-purpose minstrel seeking his muse, seeking that lady-love who transcends all others... who outshines the stars, out glows the moon, out radiates the sun itself.

I've touched on it before, that remarkable magic. I've effortlessly sprouted out poems and songs in moments of creative ecstasy born of an inspired adoration and love for a wonderful, special woman.

There really is nothing quite like it.

Yet, where is she now? Where is my lady-love who is my true muse? Am I to be bereft of such a delightful beacon of inspiration and hope for the rest of my days?

There is a woman who I've adored and loved deeply for a a handful of years - even when I was myself clueless about it (the clueless-ness being due to very poor self-esteem on my part). In spite of all of my falling prey to the ridiculous foibles of an equally ridiculous array of twists and turns over the years, she has always been a remarkable, loving, warm presence.

A deep, unique love abides between us.

Yet, I am uncertain that she wants me now. Or, if she does, it's very effectively hidden.

Of course, thanks to my perpetual immersion in my inner world, I've always needed to be "thumped on the head" to be awakened to the existence of a woman's interest in me.

So...
...what...
...is...
...coming...
...next?

A spiritual mentor recently told me he does see me getting together with a woman who is "the one", who is my "one & only" - and it is to be for a lifetime. When I queried him about the time frame for the occurrence of this happy event, he responded, "It will be in God's time."

For me, "in God's time" has always begged a very particular question: how does free will fit into this? (I must remember to bring forth this question the next time I see that particular mentor.)

Well, whosoever she may be, wheresoever she may be, in distance and time - near, far or in between - this muse who is to be my lady-love should know (paraphrasing my main man, Willie Shakespeare):
I am a man, take me for all in all,
You shall not look upon my like again.
["Hamlet", Act 1 scene 2]

And as regards my "travels" as a bard, a spinner of songs and tales, a veritable wordsmith?

In Act 3, scene 1, Shakespeare has Hamlet speak of death as "The undiscovere'd country" from which no journeyer ever comes back. Well, for my part, perhaps it is the case that I am venturing into the "The undiscovere'd country" of authentic love. And if there is any "dying" involved, it will be the death of unhealthy habits, behavior, ego, and fear.

Such a death can only be the cause of a profound rebirth. A rebirth ingrained with a healthy self-love that in turn empowers a powerful ability to give out love without any fear of lack, without any sense of going without.

...to transform one's self and thereby change the world.



# # #
By Prince Rahman