Integrity?

Recently, a friend of mine posted these questions on FB: “Why do you think people say "Yes" when they really want to say "No"? Is this an integrity issue?”

My contribution to the discussion was this:
The first thing to take into consideration: what is the individual's cultural background?


Secondly... deeper than that, what were the norms of the family environment in which that person grew up?


The first question is relevant because there are cultures, in other parts of the world, where greatest emphasis is placed on presenting an appearance of equilibrium, where individuality has lowest value and fitting into the collective has highest value, with deference to authority being a key component (these factors being most especially prevalent in societies born from extremely hierarchical cultures).


The second question is relevant because so many of our behaviors, norms, beliefs, and responses that we carry on well into adulthood, are based on coping mechanisms developed to deal with, even survive, the environments in which we spent our formative years. That is all to say that so many human beings on this planet are on autopilot and don’t even no it.


It is a western-society conceit to assume that a person lacks integrity because he or she has initially said “yes” when you believe they should say “no” right from the start. Case in point: is anyone reading this willing to say that the whole country of Japan lacks integrity? Study up on even just Japanese business culture, much less their whole culture, and you’ll understand why I asked such a thing.


# # #
by Prince Rahman